All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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