Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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