Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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