Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
