That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
