So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
