tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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