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• (586): View more from Michigan

  This girl is very crazy

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She's one of those compassionate ppl

  (586): View more from Michigan

  So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Sensing a theme here

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  If alcoholism is a theme, yes.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Guess whose grandma smokes weed?

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