this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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