also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Come on in and take your pants off
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