last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
