Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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