I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize