P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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