i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
