Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Randomize
