ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My dick has a subreddit
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
