she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
