take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
