id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
