I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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