Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
pray to the hookup gods
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize