who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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