pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
