Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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