i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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