this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
