i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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