There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
