He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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