I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
