Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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