Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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