I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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