i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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