Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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