did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Operation Purity has been aborted
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
