And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
