Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
