But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
