I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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