im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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