boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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