Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
