Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
