omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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