i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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