I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
