i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
