You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
