Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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