Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
