get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
