Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
