Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize