Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize