I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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