yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
