You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
