Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Success! We fucked roommates!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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