I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
