My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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