Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
