so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize