He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
birth control should be required to get into college
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
