there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The beer is more important than you right now.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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