She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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