I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
