Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
