Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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