Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Damn victory sex feels great
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