i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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