Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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