Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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