Me. At least after what I've been through.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i think i just lost a toe
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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