They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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