I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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