i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
People in love make me want to vomit
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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